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Teaching Righteousness Without Inciting Rebellion

It’s never easy to discuss issues that closely relate to individual choices because such discussions strike at the very core of our sin nature—PRIDE. As leaders, we must encourage our students to obey God’s word. Because of pride, any encouragement to obey at a higher level results in turning them off. Kids shut down and tune out if we attack their freedom of choice in areas like music, entertainment and clothing.

We need a strategy to put various issues on the table for discussion, without building insurmountable barriers in our relationships with the young people we serve. The following suggestions based upon three qualities of love listed in 1 Corinthians 13 may provide a starting place.

“Love is not self-seeking.” Young people will listen to those who truly love them and want the best for them. They will listen even better when they sense a leader is more concerned for their welfare than his own.

Example is a powerful teacher, particularly when a trusted leader offers himself as that example. Share about struggles you face daily as you seek to please God rather than fulfilling your own desires. Be real, but positive, as you explain how God helps you keep your priorities right. As you let your students see your imperfections, it will help to disarm their temptation to rebel or tune out. You will gain a hearing in which you can challenge them to consider obedience to God rather than friendship with the world.

“Love is kind.” The Greek word translated “kind” can also mean “gracious.” A gracious person has empathy and concern for others. Whenever you identify yourself with the kids in your group, you show your kind and empathetic love. One way to do this is to use the pronouns “we and our” instead of “you and your.” Speak with them, rather than down to them.

Such a gracious approach to sticky issues will help kids see that you desire the best for them and are not just trying to make their lives miserable. They will see you as a fellow pilgrim trying to figure things out as you go along. You won’t come off as one who has conquered every temptation and has everything under control.

”Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” We may biblically assume the best about our Christian students. After all, God has given them a new nature that wants to please him. (2 Corinthians 5:17) It’s easy to be so focused on what our students are doing wrong that we fail to see the great good they accomplish.

With their new, redeemed nature in mind, let’s consider how to turn up the volume on the right channels and turn it down on the wrong ones. Let’s build upon the foundations of godly character qualities and love for God the students’ parents and teachers have worked to develop. Rejoicing in the truth of Scripture is a good place to begin.

Help your students identify elements of truth in which they can rejoice. Consider examples of positive actions and attitudes that have been reported in the news recently. Encourage them to rejoice in what they get to do and how satisfying godly actions can be, rather than dwelling on the things they would do well to eliminate from their lives.

Obeying God leads to the most fulfilling, most exciting, most important life possible. Share stories of great heroes of the faith to provide examples of those that risked--and often gave--everything for the sake of Christ and counted it a privilege.

Day by day and in little ways, God will use the humble, loving, empathetic and positive influence of godly people like you to build righteousness into younger brothers and sisters in Christ.

Note: For a lesson on modest dress built around these principles see our short study entitled “Modesty: The Love Connection.”

Skin: How Much is TOO Much?

Lately, corporate executives and school administrators have concerned themselves with modesty and appropriate dress in the workplace. A number of large corporations and school districts are considering dress codes because some employees, teachers and other professionals push the limits of acceptability in their dress.

Similar concerns face church members and youth leaders. We, too, must concern ourselves with modesty and appropriate dress. The core issue in this conflict is the perceived “right” to express our individuality in the clothing we wear versus dressing modestly and appropriately for the marketplace, classroom and place of worship.

We leaders can use three Scriptural principles to guarantee that our outward appearance is not in conflict with our message. We teach the same principles to the young people in our ministries in order to help them also please God in this area.

Principle 1: Hate evil and love good. Romans 12:9. “Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”

Jesus observed that you can tell a great deal about a person’s heart and motives by looking at the fruit of his life. (Matthew 7:17-20) Each of us might ask ourselves, “What does my personal appearance say about my heart? Does it show that I’m attracted to good and wholesome things? Or, am I becoming too friendly with the fashions and values of the world, which are strongly influenced by Hollywood and materialism?

Principle 2: Do not cause a weaker brother or sister to fall. 1 Corinthians 8:9. “Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.”

Our salvation does not depend on how we dress. But, someone else’s might. We are free to dress as we want, if our dress expresses love for our brothers and sisters and for the lost who will observe us. In keeping with the attitude of love, Paul expressed some guidelines in 1Timothy 2:9-10. “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, . . . with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”
Because men and women are equal in God’s sight, we can assume that young men are held to the same standards in their dress.

God has given both guys and girls freedom to choose to bless and build up young, immature believers or lost friends by the way they dress. As we all consider the needs of those who watch our lives, we’ll be blessed to choose what will benefit them most.

Principle 3: Be a God-pleaser, not a man-pleaser. Galatians 1:10. “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?”

One typical response of young people whenever we address modesty goes something like this: “God doesn’t care what I wear. He cares about my heart.” God is certainly most concerned about our heart. We should each evaluate our responses to live on a higher play by considering whose opinion of us counts more, our friends’ or God’s.

The current wave of immodesty in dress is simply another evidence of the power of peer pressure. In a very clearly defined way, Christian teens and young adults face the choice of obeying God or impressing their friends in their choice of clothing.

God holds each of his children responsible for the spiritual welfare of others. We are not to make choices that might lead a Christian brother or sister into sin. When we face the clothing racks, or our closet, we can choose to do good rather than evil. We can express our desire to please God rather than men. And we can become godly examples for those are new to the faith. In short, with every outfit we put on, we have an opportunity to die to self-interest in order to honor God and love others unconditionally.

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